Politically Correct Powerpuff Girls
by LuvRoxasPoop
Summary: A more politically correct version of the typical cartoon, focusing against radical feminism. Please not that little Johnny is not a real character in the series.


Sugar, spice, and everything chosen randomly because it's nice; these are the stereotypical ingredients to the average little girl; but Professor Utonium accidentally knocked over a powerful, anonymous chemical into the concoction (Unsure about the chemical's elemental makeup and identity, he gave it a most suitable name, Chemical X). Thus, a large chemical reaction occurred, somehow creating the severely mutated human beings, the Powerpuff Girls. Using their superhuman mutant powers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup found it useful to dedicate their abilities to fighting crime and the forces of evil.

* * *

_Powerpuff Girls Residence, The City of Townsville, 12:00 P.M._

The Powerpuff Girls Hotline rang as the girls were in their room. Blossom picked up the phone to hear from the Mayor that MojoJojo was once again attacking the city with a giant robot suit. within an instant, the Powerpuff Girls zoomed to the three windows of their bedroom... and accidentally smacked their faces right against the shatter-proof glass, since they could hardly tell that their windows were really closed. Thankfully, they were not severely injured, not because of the fact that they were superhuman, but because they had no noses which could have obviously been broken in the collision. After a few seconds of discomfort, they opened the windows and then zoomed out with streaks of color flowing behind.

Before they could fly any higher, little Johnny, their next door neighbor and fellow kindergarten classmate, called out and asked if he could come with them. Johnny was also an odd mutated being like the Powerpuff Girls and had superpowers, though he was created from snips, snails, and puppy dog tails, thus making him biologically male.

The Powerpuff girls, judging by the fact that he was a male, typically replied, "Umm, sorry Johnny, but this is a very dangerous mission. We can handle it ourselves."

"Well, I can tell your radical sexism and feminism has much to do with your refusal of my help, since I am a male and supposedly am too stupid, which is absolutely not true," replied Johnny with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, um… Whatever," said Blossom with a careless face. "Come on, girls. We can't waste time with a boy. Townsville needs us!" And so, the girls continued their journey and zoomed into the sky and towards the city, leaving little Johnny standing there and staring at them as he shook his head. "for moral superheroes," he said, "they truly are quite sexist."

The Powerpuff Girls arrived in the town square to see a crowd of civilians running from a giant robot suit. In the glass dome on the head of the robot was a green faced monkey in evil attire and with what appeared to be a glass container covering his large brain which was literally growing out of his head. This devious primate was known as Mojo Jojo, a former lab monkey whom was granted the abilities to speak and to think as well as an intelligent human being could. He became evil not because of his envy for the Powerpuff Girls but because of his discontent with the lack of civil rights for primates (Monkeys are not humans; therefore, protected rights reserved for people do not apply to them).

"You're going to get it this time, Mojo!" shouted the girls with glaring eyes.

"Muahahahahahahaha! You cannot stop me this time, Powerpuff Girls!" laughed Mojo. "I am powerful with this suit, and I shall use my power to take over Townsville and ensure rights for all my brethren!"

"Well if you want civil rights so badly, then why don't you just write a petition to the mayor or governor or someone?" asked Buttercup.

"I already tried that," growled Mojo, "but apparently they do not recognize the voices of, let alone give freedom of speech to, non-humans such as myself. Isn't that racist?"

"Just quit your yapping and fight!" said Blossom. The girls charged at Mojo, and the battle began. The girls zapped, dodged, and punched the robot suit as Mojo fired lasers at them from his giant robot gun. Before they knew it, the girls were suddenly snatched by nets being shot out of Mojo's gun, and all three of them were bound onto the ground. They struggled to get free as Mojo laughed and pointed his giant gun at them. Lights on the gun began to flash as the gun started to turn red. Before the final blow was struck, Mojo was suddenly smashed to the side of a building by some anonymous force. The girls looked up to see none other than little Johnny floating in the air.

"Don't worry, girls, I'm here to help!" exclaimed Johnny.

"Ugh, what is he doing here?" said Bubbles. "He's either going to get himself killed by his natural male stupidity, or he'll succeed and make us girls look weak."

Little Johnny rapidly fought and tossed around Mojo's robot suit as if it were made of paper. He used everything imaginable, from massive kicks and punches to severing eye lasers, to beat up the radically "apeist" monkey. Johnny finally charged through the glass dome and out the other side with the monkey and smashed him onto the ground. Johnny then used his greatest fighting move yet, the mega pimp slap, to smack Mojo's face and paralyze him.

"Ouch," whispered the senselessly beaten primate. "You may have defeated me once more, but I shall achieve victory one day win civil rights for all my second-class brethren."

"Oh, put a sock in it, radical apeist," muttered Johnny. Moments later, the police came and took Mojo away to the Townsville jail and scheduled a court date for the villain. The Powerpuff Girls were freed from the nets and then faced Johnny.

"You girls okay?" asked Johnny as he noticed their big angry eyes.

"No, we're not!" shouted Blossom. "Your heroics made us look like weak little girls! The greatest female crime fighters in Townsville being rescued by a boy? That's not how it's supposed to be because women are stronger than men, and we're smarter too!"

"My gosh, you are such radical feminists and sexists," huffed Johnny. "Just because I saved you, that doesn't mean I'm better than you." Johnny then left and zoomed away into the sky.

In the aftermath, the Powerpuff Girls continued their careers as crime fighters and also continued to reject any assistance from male superheroes labeled by them as automatic sexists. Johnny continued his superhero career and founded an elementary school program to fight sexism and radical feminism among children. Mojo Jojo, of course, was convicted in court for public endangerment and possession of an illegal weapon, and he was therefore sent to state prison only to soon break out again and cause more mayhem during his campaign for civil rights.


End file.
